4 Apr 2025
I must admit that I procrastinate a lot. The biggest example is when I get up in the morning. I wait until the very last minute to get up. My goal is to get up before lunch.
This is the primary difference between me and The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She couldn't procrastinate even if I gave her a thousand dollars. Of course, I would procrastinate in giving over that thousand dollars because that's how I operate.
My "to-do list" is put together with this understanding; I put things on this list that I know will be affected by my procrastination. If I want to get three things done in one day, I have to make a list of 25 things to do.
That may not make sense to some people, but if you have that procrastination virus, it does. It is not how much I can do in a day but how much I actually do.
Unfortunately, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has not learned this about me. As long as we have been together which is something like 54 years, she doesn't get the notion that I'm a procrastinator. I'm not even sure if she knows what that means, and I'm not going to be the one to tell her. At least, I won’t tell her today. Maybe tomorrow.
She believes that when she gives me a list of 45 things to do, I will jump up and finish them as soon as possible. But as a high-level procrastinator, that's not how it works.
When I get a list from her, it takes me all morning to read it.
Usually, at lunchtime, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage will say, "Well, did you get the list done yet?"
I will look at her with a blank look on my face and say, "What list?"
With a bit of growling in her voice, she responds, "You know, the list I gave you this morning of things I wanted you to do."
"Oh, that list. I'm still working on it."
She doesn't understand that when I have a list of things she wants me to do, I have to meditate on that list and really get into its vibe. She doesn't realize that it takes me quite a while to get into a certain vibe when it comes to things I need to do. I must admit that I never get into some things' vibe.
The last time I did not procrastinate was August 14, 1971, when we stood before a minister who said, "Do you promise…" And with a nervous stutter, I responded immediately, "I do."
I think that was the first time I didn't procrastinate, and I believe it was the last time. I’ll think about that later.
It's hard for me to jump into a project and get it done. Sure, I like completing a project, but it takes me a long time to get to the end of it.
I learned years ago that procrastinating on certain things and actually not doing them is a blessing. If I had done what I was supposed to do, I probably would've been in trouble.
Over the years, I have earned the title, Sir Procrastinate-A-Lot.
Occasionally, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage will ask, "Are you acting like a procrastinator?"
"No, my dear," I will say as calmly as possible, "I'm not acting."
Even as a procrastinator, I'm the real thing. I'm not lying; I'm just dragging my heels along the way.
I suppose that if I had cleaned up my procrastinating, I could have accomplished twice as much in my life as I have. But then, where would that have gotten me?
That is the difference between The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and her marvelous husband. It took me a few years to understand this difference. But once I did, I was able to use it to my advantage.
If I asked The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage to do two things, she would jump to it and begin doing it before I finished my sentence. Within a few moments, those two things are accomplished.
If I asked her to do five things again, she would jump up and do all five as fast as she could without even taking a break.
I think she is the most anti-procrastinator I have ever known. She can never procrastinate; she always must get everything done before the time. If she has 60 minutes to do something, she will do it in 50 minutes or less.
In a marriage such as ours, we cannot both be procrastinators. That is why I stepped up to the plate and chose to be the procrastinator in our house. I've done a great job of it all these years.
Of course, there is a cost that comes with procrastination. Solomon hit it on the head when he said, “Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man” (Proverbs 24:33-34).
As my father used to say, “You can’t kick a can down the road forever. At some point you need to stop and pick it up.”
My problem is I think I can do more than I can really do. Maybe I should be more realistic and concentrate on doing what I can do.
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